Divorce and Separation through a Child’s eye

Patrick Crawford | March 20, 2019

There is a counselor who once said that if parents could stop being mad and remember what their children need most, divorce would be less painful. It is unfortunate that when spouses hurt each other, and they decide to go their separate ways, they get into some unhealthy form of competition, which ends up hurting the kids. Well, as statistics show, between 40 and 50 percent of first-time marriages end in divorce, and two in three of the couples have kids. The best Annapolis Family Lawyer says that a closer look at divorce through the eyes of a child would be one of the best ways to learn and understand how separation needs to be handled.

1. Kids need to stay in touch more than you. No matter how many times you explain to your little ones that they still have two parents, but in two different houses, they will not get why they can’t say good morning or goodnight to mommy or Daddy. A simple step that you can keep as part of their lives is allowing them to say good morning and goodnight to the parent who is not around. When they talk to the parent in the morning and at night, they do not miss them as much as they would if they communicate only when the parent gets to spend time with them. Remember that you must try and stay civil in your conversations in front of the kids.
2. The kids need to hear their feelings are valid. Another thing that parents fail to realize is that they cannot drag their kids into whatever they feel about their spouse. For instance, to you as a woman, your husband could be a liar and a cheater and all those other negative things, but to your little girl, he is still her hero. While hiding your true feelings may not be a solution, you need to let your kids know it is okay to be angry or to miss the other parent or to get mad at both of you for parting ways, and that it will get more comfortable with time.
3. They still need to see you together. When divorce gets rough, the last thing one or both partners want to do is be within a hundred-mile radius of each other. Your disdain about your partner does not mean that your little boy doesn’t want to see both of you at his game, or the piano recital. If you have always attended these things together, try and keep it as healthy as possible for their sake. With time, they will ease into the new norm.

It is important to understand that divorce hurts children, even teenagers. It is even harder on younger ones, and research has shown that kids whose parents separate when they are two may remain heartbroken for up to three years. This pain changes their psyche, and if not addressed properly by an expert such as an Annapolis Family Lawyer, it could lead to behavioral problems later in life. It is crucial to learn how to handle their feelings and create a happy life for the kids so that they heal as fast as possible after the ordeal.

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