Avoid Holiday Drama and Depression After Divorce
At this time of year it seems that we all should take a moment to think about the many things in our lives we have to be thankful for. Sometimes in a family law firm we meet people who claim they have nothing at all to be thankful for. While they may believe that to be true when they say it, the real truth is that we all have at least one thing we can put on our thankful list. How about the fact that we woke up today? That should be worthy of the list, don’t you think? Even if you don’t agree, there are certainly some things we can do this holiday season to avoid drama and depression.
- Celebrate with your family – whether it’s an early celebration because your kids will be with your ex on the holiday or a later one for the same reason, pick a day to celebrate the holiday and invite all your loved ones. If you really think about it, who doesn’t want to have yet another fun celebration? The kids will love it!
- Schedule your talking time – you and your ex must reach an agreement about your scheduled times to talk with the kids. Put it in writing so that you both have a copy you can tape to the refrigerator. If you haven’t already learned how to Skype, try to set that up so that you and the kids can see each other while you chat. Keep it light and happy because it is the holidays even though you may be physically apart.
- Take a trip – if the kids will be with your ex, or if this is the first holiday you’ll be alone after a divorce, then it’s time to hit the road. Go and visit a family member or friend. Take a cruise with your BFF. Even plan some day trips not too far from home and bring a book with you to read while you have lunch in a café along the way. Find a way to travel on your budget and banish those holiday blues!
- Get out of the house – this doesn’t mean a trip but it does mean get off the couch! It’s too easy to hole-up at home feeling sorry for yourself when the kids are with your ex over the holiday. Don’t fall into the woes-is-me trap! Go see a movie, go out to dinner with friends, go to a bookstore (if you can still find one!) and buy a bestselling thriller. Do anything, but do something because staying home watching It’s a Wonderful Life on cable will bring you down to the holiday dumps!
Now we could add a number 5 to the list but instead we’ll use this tip as our conclusion. If you’re feeling sad or lonely over the holidays always remind yourself that it’s just a few days and then you’ll be back to your normal routine. Holidays only do last a short time and before you know it they will be over, the kids will be home, and you’ll be back to business. Sure, you will have moments of sadness but those too will pass. Keep yourself busy and occupied, and more importantly live your life – that’s the best way to avoid drama and depression during the holidays!